ETA: If you are a local doing any one of these things, I feel the exact same way as if you were a tourist. I don’t discriminate. STOP DOING THEM.
I feel like I’m pretty understanding, and I need to be, considering I live in a hugely popular tourist destination. I’m friendly, I smile, and I’m happy to help with directions or a restaurant recommendation. I don’t even mind chit-chatting with you, or letting you pet my dog when you miss your dog at home.
I do feel (and realize) this has been done to death. I also don’t want to seem cranky or negative, but some of these things just have got to be said, publicly. These aren’t nit-picky. They aren’t pet-peeves. You can’t read these and say I’m being unreasonable (and if you do, I think you’re unreasonable). And no, these are not isolated incidents. Yes, I would say most of the time they are done by visitors. So, sorry I’m not sorry for doing this post.
These are the five things I see tourists do in Washington DC that make me want to throw sh*t. They really, really get my goat.
1. Not using trash cans. This is most certainly common courtesy. You can’t possible start complaining about how dirty the National Mall is one busy weekend after I just saw you throw your snowcone cup on the ground. This is NOT ok. Yes, trash cans do fill up quickly, but is it really too much effort to carry your snowcone cup to the next trashcan, which at most is a block away? I don’t think so. I also don’t appreciate you littering the city, in general. This isn’t about culture or misunderstanding, it’s about basic laziness and disrespect, and it pisses me off.
2. Allowing young children to drive strollers. How is this even allowed? How is there not a rule about this? Between me watching small children drive their siblings into the middle of a street, to being hit by an uncontrolled stroller really hard on my already sore shin, this makes me crazy. I’m not talking about the parents that allow their children to push the stroller with them (the parents) directly behind them with a hand on the controls. I’m talking about those that let their 3 year olds run wild with a stroller. It’s not safe for me, it’s not safe for them, and for goodness sake, it is certainly not safe for anything in the damn stroller.
3. Walking five-wide on sidewalks that fit five people/refusing to move when asked politely. First, this makes zero sense to me. It’s really not as if you can talk to the people on the other side, so why walk like this at all? Break it up! You won’t get lost/kidnapped/mugged if you are three feet behind. I’m not asking for much, but I really would appreciate not having to actually run in the highway when I have to pass you. Most of you don’t even move when I say excuse me…three times. Oh, and those of you that mutter to me “just go around”…ARGH. If I was a pirate, you’d be walking the plank. Can’t we be polite and share the stupid sidewalk?
4. Learning how to ride a bike…on a crowded sidewalk. So I’ve seen more tourist crashes than I’d ever dreamed possible. More often than not, I see tourists that can’t even ride a bike in a straight line, yet they think it’s some wonderful idea to take a bike tour through the monuments. Yup, I’ve seen people getting lessons on how to “start” and “pedal” in front of the Lincoln Memorial. In June. Horrible, horrible idea. You can’t steer within 5 feet of where you are going, you weave like you are drunk (which would almost be more acceptable), and you very nearly ran over my dog. You’re endangering me, you’re endangering others, and you’re endangering yourself.
5. Petting squirrels. Due to my work and educational background in health, all I can say to this is AREYOUFORREAL? I’ve seen toddlers touch squirrels and immediately put their hands all over their faces. I’ve seen a tourist feed a squirrel a piece of bread out of their mouth. Disgusting. I have no words. And honestly, I probably wouldn’t care so much, but squirrels can carry communicable diseases that can be easily spread to people other than you, or your family. Moreover, even if you don’t care about your health or the health of those around you, it’s also not good for the squirrels. So can we all think of the bigger picture and agree that this is a bad idea? Awesome.
There you have it. In the mean time, I reserve the right to snicker when you fall off your bike and yell at you and scare your terror of a toddler when he/she runs into me with a 50 pound stroller. I will also not feel sorry for you when the squirrel bites you and you have to go get rabies inoculations; I hope you enjoy your Washington DC ER experience.
Otherwise, I hope you have a truly fabulous time seeing this wonderful city.
Thanks,
A DC Resident
