I had a conversation last week with someone (who, for the record, is definitely not a current boss or coworker), that left me...well, it left me with a bad taste in my mouth. 

I'm totally fine if people have no interest in my travels--I get it, it's not for everyone.  And honestly, at work, I really try to not talk about my trips unless specifically asked.  It's a workplace, and I'd much rather talk about work. My current coworkers and bosses typically ask a few interested questions, I share a few photos, tell them I had a great time, and we leave it at that.  I'm more than happy to answer questions, but I don't just spew information like a volcano. 

But what about people who ask about where you are going next, or where you have been, and then crap all over it? Now that, that gets to me.  I mean, what's the point?  I'm going to continue traveling, so you telling me that everyone in that part of the world is rude or chauvinistic (or uneducated or whatever) really doesn't accomplish anything. In fact, it makes me want to try to prove you wrong even more than before.  
In the past five years, I've had some experiences with people, including in the workplace, that have left me in stunned silence. Sure, sometimes it's just a "I can't believe you want to go there, what a waste of money" or a "You're too young to understand the world so you don't know what you're seeing." Those are annoying, but manageable comments.  I let those roll off my back (with some obvious grumbling/cursing).  

But there has also been way, way worse. Disparaging comments about developing countries and how the people there must not like to work? Check. Judgment on how my traveling to Egypt shows I don't support the United States? Check.  Telling me I'm wasting my time flying 14 hours because the place is dirty and disgusting? Check. 

My typical responses:

-I'm sorry you feel that way.
-That's an offensive statement.
-I/We are very excited to see a new place and culture.
-That's simply not the case.
-I try not to stereotype or generalize about people/places before I visit.
-It's important to me/us to have new experiences.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't: I don't want to validate their feelings/beliefs by sitting silently, yet I also don't want to argue with them as I don't feel as if I will ever change or impact their perceptions of "the world". Debating with most of these people is totallyfreakingpointless.  I'm too young, too sheltered, too "unworldly" to understand what they are talking about (rolling eyes here). And when this has occurred in a professional--not a social--setting, I have really struggled how to manage these comments. Can't we keep the professional space...professional (GASP)?

Maybe I'm being too sensitive (likely), maybe they are completely out of bounds (also likely), and maybe I don't let things go quickly enough (proven occurrence). And I've honestly tried to avoid these people and these conversations as much as possible--I'd much rather associate with people who like to travel (or at least can feign a polite interest). But in the real world, that's just not always possible.  

Have you had people say something inappropriate/offensive about the places you are going or have been?  What do you do/how do you respond?
 


Comments

06/30/2014 7:51pm

Oh my godddddddddd, I so know what you mean. I knew what you meant even just reading the title of this post. :D

People like to talk shit they don't know about just because they saw something on the evening news. My response to disparaging remarks about other countries or cultures is usually, "Have you been there?" Usually they haven't, so this shines a light on their ignorance. If they have, I reply, "Well we want to see it for ourselves".

I've had other people tell me I'm unpatriotic too for not seeing all of Australia before I go overseas. Any person so limited in their thinking as to believe that an overseas trip equals a lack of patriotism is never going to come close to understanding me. So I just don't even bother with those people. :D

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06/30/2014 8:55pm

Hi Karyn--so glad you can relate! I know I shouldn't let these people get under my skin...but sometimes I just can't help it, especially when they have something negative to say allthetime. But you're right, I shouldn't bother with them.

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07/01/2014 7:34am

It's so frustrating when people take such an ignorant and negative view. But at the end of the day, travel isn't for everyone, I think people who like to travel have a 'live and let live' kind of attitude- accepting that everyone is different and all that.
Unfortunately many (not all) people who don't like travel can be incredibly rude about places they know nothing about. It's a shame, but hey, we'll just have to keep on rolling and prove them wrong.

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07/01/2014 9:51pm

Hi Olivia, you're right--live and let live! However frustrating, I need to focus on the "good eggs" not the bad.

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